![]() ![]() This type of thinking creates a great deal of grief and conflict for everyone. Instead, the moment their partner does something that frustrates, disappoints, or annoys them, their partner suddenly becomes someone who is "all bad" rather than someone who has momentarily engaged in a "bad" behavior. However, if a person personality disorder has this thinking pattern, they do not easily see these shades of grey. They realize their partner behaves well most of the time, but not always. They come to accept their partner has both strengths and weaknesses. However, healthy adults gradually adopt of more realistic and balanced view of their partner. ![]() It is quite common to idealize a new romantic partner. In particular, this pattern is quite common during the initial stages of romantic relationships. This pattern can also be played out in friendships, romantic relationships, or family relationships. When these things occur, the all-good therapist suddenly becomes a completely horrible, incompetent, and ignorant person in their client's eyes. Therapists often must say or do things that frustrate clients. Sometimes there is no immediate solution to the client's problems. Sometimes therapists get sick and must miss therapy appointments. However,the moment there is the slightest indication that the therapist has ordinary human limitations, this idealization quickly becomes disgust or even rage. ![]() The therapist is viewed as someone who has all the answers to all their problems, who knows everything, never makes any mistakes, and who will never disappoint or frustrate them. Initially, the client sees the therapist is seen as the perfect human being. This distorted thinking pattern can be played out when a client begins to work with a new therapist. However, with a vacillating pattern of extreme thinking, people are seen as either all good, or all bad, but not both. Most healthy people recognize that we each have some good, and some bad qualities i.e., we behave well sometimes, but certainly not all the time. This thinking pattern can be summarized by the statement, "If you are not entirely good, then you must be entirely bad. Vacillation between idealization and devaluationĪ specific type of black-or-white thinking is the tendency to vacillate between over-idealizing, then completely devaluing, other people or oneself. For instance, the conclusion, "If I am right, then you must be wrong" does not include the possibility that we could both be right, or both be wrong. Thoughts become polarized as either-or "always this" or "never that." Some examples of this type of thinking might be: "I never get anything right!" or, "If I am not brilliant, then I must stupid" or, "A woman can't have a career and be a stay-home mom" or, "If he does not love me, then he must hate me" or, "If I can't do this perfectly, then I won't do it at all!" You can see these kinds of thoughts leave no room for shades of gray and do not allow for compromise, or a consideration of multiple alternatives or possibilities. Let's look at these five thought patterns a little more closely:īlack-or-white thinking can also be referred to as all-or-nothing thinking. Examples of these problematic interpretations of the self-in-the-world include:ġ) extreme black-or-white thinking patterns Ģ) patterns of idealizing then devaluing other people or themselves ģ) patterns of distrustful, suspicious thoughts Ĥ) patterns that frequently include unusual or odd beliefs that are contrary to cultural standards or,ĥ) patterns of thoughts that include perceptual distortions and bodily illusions. These dysfunctional patterns are most evident when someone attempts to understand their interactions with others. They may have thinking patterns that are very extreme and somewhat distorted. Not surprisingly, people with personality disorders think about things quite differently than people with healthy personalities. People with personality disorders tend to exhibit distortions in the way they interpret and think about the world, and in the way they think about themselves. ![]()
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